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"When Strength Looks Like Stillness: Embracing Rest in Midlife"

By Laura Lynn

For most of my life, I’ve been a doer. A fixer. A problem-solver. A multi-tasking, go-go-go kind of woman who finds satisfaction in productivity and purpose. But something shifted as I reached midlife—a subtle tug, a whisper from deep inside: “It’s okay to slow down.”

At first, I resisted it. I thought the rest was weakness. I mistook fatigue for failure. But the more I leaned into the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause and menopause, the more I realized: rest isn’t giving up. Rest is repair. Rest is wisdom.

The Culture of Overdrive

We live in a world that glorifies burnout. Hustle is rewarded, and slowing down is often met with guilt or judgment. For women in midlife, this becomes even more complicated—many of us are juggling careers, caregiving, aging parents, and unpredictable bodies that feel like strangers some days.

I used to push through everything. Even on days I felt completely drained, I’d guilt myself into productivity. But deep down, my body wasn’t asking me to push harder. It was begging me to listen.

Learning the Language of Stillness

Stillness is not laziness. Its presence. It’s choosing to pause, not because you’re broken, but because you’re wise enough to know what you need.

I’ve found strength in turning off my phone and sitting outside with my bare feet on the earth. In naps I once thought were indulgent. In saying “not today” when my soul is whispering “please, rest.”

Why Midlife Demands a New Rhythm

Hormonal shifts in midlife aren’t just physical—they’re spiritual. They ask us to reflect, rewire, and release. Our bodies are changing, yes—but so are our priorities. What mattered at 25 may no longer serve the woman we’re becoming at 45 or 55.

There’s beauty in slowing down. In being selective with your energy. In choosing peace over people-pleasing.

Give Yourself Permission

So today, I’m inviting you—wherever you are on this journey—to take a deep breath and give yourself permission to rest. Whether it’s an hour on the couch, a quiet walk without your phone, or a weekend without plans… know that you are not lazy. You are listening. And that is powerful.

🩷 Stillness is your strength now. Own it.

“When It Hits Out of Nowhere: My Ongoing Battle with Random UTIs”

Let me tell you—there’s nothing more frustrating than feeling perfectly fine one day, and then the next, you’re suddenly hit with that all-too-familiar sting, urgency, and discomfort. No warning. No obvious trigger. Just bam… you’ve got yourself another UTI.

If you’ve experienced this, you already know: it’s more than just a bladder issue—it’s a full-body and emotional drain.

🌪️ It Literally Comes Out of Nowhere

I’m not exaggerating when I say these infections strike with zero explanation.
I’ll be going about my day, feeling totally normal, and then—out of nowhere—I feel that weird, unsettling pressure in my bladder or an uncomfortable urgency that keeps me in and out of the bathroom all day.

No fever. No known cause. Just pain, burning, and confusion.

And then come the questions:

• “Did I drink enough water today?”

• “Did I sit too long?”

• “Is this really another UTI or something else?”

• “Should I just ride it out or call my doctor again?”

🔬 When the Tests Are Negative… But Something Still Feels Off

Here’s what makes it worse: sometimes, I go in for a urine test, and it comes back negative.
No bacteria, no infection. Just symptoms.

Other times, it’s clearly an infection, and I’m back on antibiotics… again.

It’s exhausting, because not only am I physically uncomfortable, but I’m also left wondering whether I’m just being overly sensitive or whether there’s something deeper going on. It messes with your head.

👇 What I’ve Learned (and What I Wish I Knew Sooner)

After dealing with these unpredictable flare-ups, here’s what I’ve found:

• Estrogen plays a HUGE role.
  Once I hit perimenopause, I started noticing these issues more often. Lower estrogen means thinner vaginal tissue and less good bacteria, which makes everything down there more prone to irritation and infection.

• Hydration is everything… but not a guarantee.
  I drink water constantly. Doesn’t always stop the UTIs, but it helps flush things out faster when they hit.

• Stress is a silent trigger.
  I’ve noticed I’m more vulnerable when I’m run-down, not sleeping, or dealing with too much.

• Not all pain is an infection.
  Sometimes it’s irritation, inflammation, or even pelvic floor tension mimicking UTI symptoms.

• Doctors don’t always take it seriously.
  I’ve had to really advocate for myself. Just because a test says “negative” doesn’t mean what I’m feeling isn’t real.

🧴 Helpful Tips and Tricks (Besides Antibiotics)

I’ve had to become a detective with my own body—and here’s what’s made a difference:

• Vaginal estrogen cream — a game-changer for tissue health

• D-Mannose — a natural supplement that helps flush bacteria

• Women’s probiotics — specifically ones for urinary and vaginal support

• Warm compresses + Epsom salt baths — my go-to comfort measures

• Urologist visit — just to rule out other issues and get guidance beyond antibiotics

💬 The Emotional Side No One Talks About

You know what they don’t tell you?
UTIs mess with your mood, energy, and confidence.

I’ve had days where I felt absolutely defeated—canceling plans, feeling embarrassed, wondering if I’d ever get a break. The unpredictability makes it worse. You can be doing everything right and still end up curled in bed with a heating pad, wondering why your own body turned against you again.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one dealing with this, but you’re not.

🌷 You Are Not Alone in This

If your bladder is making you feel like a stranger in your own body, I see you.
I am you.

Random UTIs are more than just a medical inconvenience—they’re an emotional rollercoaster, especially in midlife when we’re already navigating enough change.

Don’t let anyone brush it off.
Don’t stop advocating for yourself.
And don’t be ashamed to talk about it.

Because the more we share these stories, the less alone we all feel—and the more solutions we can discover together.

💡 Final Thoughts

You shouldn’t have to live in fear of the next flare-up. Whether it’s hormones, irritation, or bacteria sneaking in uninvited, your discomfort is valid, and relief is possible.

Take care of yourself. Listen to your body.
And if today’s one of those “out-of-nowhere UTI” days, know that better ones are coming.

🔍 “Born to Solve: How My Inner Investigator Led Me to Tech (and Why Nursing Still Calls Me Sometimes)”

Some people are born dreamers.
Some are born doers.
And some—like me—are born investigators.

Since I was a child, I’ve had a deep need to know:

• Why isn’t this working?

• What’s the root cause?

• How can I fix it?

Whether it was figuring out how something broke in the house, noticing when people weren’t telling the full truth, or quietly observing until the answers revealed themselves, I’ve always chased truth and solutions.

🧠 Why I Chose Tech

When it came time to pick a career path, I followed my analytical side and stepped into Information Technology.
It felt like a natural fit—solving technical problems, finding patterns, investigating digital puzzles.

I loved the structure, the logic, and the satisfaction of resolving complex issues.
I found myself in roles where I could combine troubleshooting with tenacity, and I thrived.

But there’s another part of me too...

🩺 The Nurse That Lives in My Soul

There have been so many moments—especially now, as I dive deeper into women’s health—where I’ve thought:
Maybe I should have become a nurse.

Not because I regret my choices, but because I’ve always had a natural urge to help, heal, comfort, and research the “why” behind the pain.

Whether it’s supporting women through the mysteries of menopause, understanding nerve pain and hormone imbalances, or helping others advocate for their health, there’s a part of me that feels like I would’ve made a damn good nurse.

And maybe, in some ways, I already am.
Not by title, but by nature.

🔗 Tech Meets Heart

What I’ve learned is that it’s not either/or.

My investigative brain didn’t choose the wrong field.
It just led me to one that could grow alongside the part of me that also wants to care, connect, and empower.

Now, I use both:

• Tech knowledge to organize and build tools for women

• Health curiosity to ask hard questions and seek answers no one’s talking about

• Empathy and instinct to guide women through what I’ve learned, and what I’m still figuring out

💬 To the Woman Who Feels Split

If you’ve ever wondered, Did I take the right path?
Or what if I missed my calling?

Here’s what I’ve realized:
You didn’t miss it.
You’ve been living it all along—in your own way.

Your strengths don’t belong to one title.
Whether you fix systems, comfort a friend, teach others, or write your truth, your talents are showing up where they’re needed.

🪞 This Isn’t the End of Your Story

If perimenopause has made you reflect more lately, you’re not alone.
So many of us are revisiting who we are, what we’ve done, and who we still want to be.

It’s not too late to evolve.
You can pivot, blend, or expand the path you’re on.

Whether I’m troubleshooting code or troubleshooting the clitoris (yes, it’s real work!), I know one thing:
I was born to investigate.
To connect the dots.
To find answers when no one else is looking.

And that calling?
It never expires.

“From On Top of the World to Wiped Out: The Hormonal Roller Coaster No One Talks About”

One day, you’re killing it.
You wake up early, full of energy. You’re productive, upbeat, maybe even glowing. You finally feel like yourself again.

And then—bam—you crash.

The next day, you can barely drag yourself out of bed. You’re overwhelmed, drained, irritable, and foggy. Everything hurts, everything annoys you, and the world feels like too much.

Welcome to the hormonal roller coaster of perimenopause and menopause.
No one warned us it would feel this extreme.

🎢 Why Is It So Up and Down?

Because your hormones aren’t just slowly declining.
They’re swinging—like a pendulum with no rhythm. One day, your estrogen might spike, giving you confidence and energy. The next day, it plummets, taking your mood, sleep, and motivation with it.

And it’s not just estrogen:

• Progesterone drops → leading to anxiety and poor sleep

• Testosterone shifts → changing your energy and sex drive

• Cortisol rises with stress → making crashes feel even worse

Your body isn’t failing you—it’s recalibrating. But the process? It’s messy.

😩 Real Talk: What It Feels Like

You might experience:

• Feeling unstoppable one day, then feeling like crying in the grocery store the next

• Planning a big day, only to cancel everything because your body says “nope.”

• Loving your partner madly one week, and wondering if you even like them the next

• Wanting to change the world, then just wanting a nap

It’s confusing. It’s exhausting. And worst of all? It’s unpredictable.

🛠️ How to Cope on the Crash Days

When your “superwoman” energy disappears, here’s what helps:

1. Stop blaming yourself.
   You’re not lazy or failing. You’re in hormonal flux.

2. Don’t fight the fatigue.
   Rest when your body asks. Recharge instead of pushing through.

3. Honor your emotions.
   If it’s a cry day, cry. If it’s a “leave me alone” day, honor that boundary.

4. Track your patterns.
   You may begin to notice cycle-based highs and lows, even if your period is irregular.

5. Prep on good days.
   Batch meals, clean up, organize, or journal when you’re feeling good. Your future self will thank you.

🗣️ My Experience

I’ve lived this too. There are days I’m full of energy—motivated, passionate, getting things done, even dreaming bigger. And then suddenly... I hit a wall. The exhaustion comes fast. My brain slows down. My motivation disappears. And everything feels heavy—even the small stuff.

On those days, I remind myself: this is temporary. And I don’t need to be “productive” to be valuable.

🧘 Final Word: You’re Not Alone in the Whiplash

This back-and-forth doesn’t mean you’re unstable—it means your hormones are in transition.
Some days will feel powerful. Others will feel like survival. But all of it is part of your body’s path forward.

Let go of the pressure to be consistent in a body that’s constantly changing.

Your power isn’t in being the same every day—it’s in riding the waves and still showing up for yourself.

“Rewriting the Script: You’re Not ‘Losing It’—You’re Shedding It”

For so long, we’ve been taught to believe that perimenopause and menopause mark the beginning of the end:

• The end of youth

• The end of beauty

• The end of being desired

• The end of being sharp, capable, or needed

But what if we’ve been fed the wrong story?

What if what feels like “losing it” is really… shedding it?

🕊️ You’re Not Losing Control—You’re Letting Go of Conditioning

Hot flashes? Brain fog? Emotional waves? They’re real, uncomfortable, and deeply disruptive. But they also slow us down enough to hear the truth:
We’ve been performing.

So many of us have performed for decades:

• Performed “cool girl” confidence at work

• Performed endless giving as moms and partners

• Performed okay, even when we were drowning inside

Now the mask doesn’t fit. The skin itches. The brain says rest. The soul says change.

You’re not broken. You’re breaking free.

🌙 Hormones May Change—But So Do Priorities

As estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone shift, something beautiful happens: the pressure to be everything to everyone drops.

You don’t want to go to the party? You skip it.
You’re too tired to pretend? You canceled the call.
You’re irritated for no reason? Maybe it’s a sign your tolerance for nonsense is finally zero.

Is that a loss—or a reclamation?

🔄 The Shed: What Might Be Falling Away

• Guilt over saying no

• Shame over your body changing

• Silence when something feels wrong

• Fear of being alone with your thoughts

• Old definitions of worth, beauty, and womanhood

And in its place?

• Stillness. Power. Honesty. Rest. Creativity. Depth.

💡 You’re Not Falling Apart. You’re Reassembling.

Your brain may forget names. Your body may sweat in public. You may cry at a commercial.

But the deeper intelligence inside you? She is sharp. She is rising. She is the part of you that’s been buried under decades of shoulds.

Let her breathe. Let her write her own script.

🖋️ Final Word: You’re Not Losing It. You’re Becoming.

The world may label this as a decline. But what if it’s an awakening?
What if menopause isn’t a malfunction, but a milestone?

You are not crazy. You are not invisible. You are not done.

You are simply… becoming more you than ever before.

“The Menopause Glow-Up: How Midlife Changes Can Actually Make You Shine”

When we hear “menopause,” the word glow doesn’t usually come to mind. But maybe it should.

Because beneath the fog of hot flashes, sleep struggles, and shifting moods is something wildly underrated: a glow-up that isn’t about looks—it’s about power, peace, and personal freedom.

✨ What Is a Menopause Glow-Up?

It’s not a makeover. It’s a wake-up.

It’s what happens when you stop trying to shrink, silence, or smooth yourself for everyone else’s comfort. When you stop doing the most and start doing what matters most to you.

During perimenopause and menopause, many of us start:

• Speaking up more

• Letting go of people-pleasing

• Honoring our need for rest

• Dressing for comfort and joy, not approval

• Embracing our bodies as they are, not as they once were

That is a glow-up.

🌱 This Season Strips You Down—Then Builds You Back Up

Yes, menopause can shake your confidence. You might gain weight, lose sleep, feel invisible, or unsure of yourself.

But here’s what often rises in its place:

• Wisdom that comes from surviving and learning

• Boundaries that protect your peace

• A voice that finally stops apologizing

• Clarity about what you want—and what you no longer tolerate

• Energy redirected to the people and passions that truly light you up

🔥 Signs You’re Glowing Up in Midlife (Even if It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

• You leave texts on “read” without guilt

• You say “no” and don’t explain

• You start prioritizing how you feel over how you look

• You’re curious again—about art, love, travel, or maybe your own soul

• You no longer compete—you cheer (especially for yourself)

💬 My Glow-Up Moment

For me, the glow-up wasn’t loud. It was a quiet shift. I started creating this space—the Perimenopause Chat Lounge—not because I had it all figured out, but because I realized: no one was going to hand me the answers. I had to find them—and share them.

That spark? That’s what glow looks like.

🪞Final Thoughts: Your Glow Looks Different—And That’s Beautiful

Your menopause glow-up won’t look like mine, or hers, or anyone else’s. And that’s the point. It’s yours. And it’s happening, even in the middle of the mess.

Midlife isn’t a breakdown. It’s a breakthrough.

Redefining Sexy After 40: Sensuality, Vibrators & Feeling Good Again

Somewhere along the way, we were sold the idea that sexiness has an expiration date. That after 40, especially in the haze of hormonal shifts, motherhood, career burnout, and body changes, sensuality is something we’re supposed to pack away with our skinny jeans and stilettos.

Let’s be clear: that narrative is outdated—and flat-out wrong.

Redefining sexy after 40 isn’t about recapturing youth; it’s about reclaiming your body on your terms. It's not about what you look like to others—it's how you feel inside your skin. And for many of us, that starts with reimagining our relationship with pleasure, touch, and vibrational joy (yes, we’re talking vibrators).

Hormones, Libido & the Power Shift

As estrogen and progesterone take their wild rollercoaster ride, it’s common for desire to fluctuate. Your body might not respond the way it used to. You might feel disconnected from arousal or struggle with dryness or numbness in areas that once lit up like a fireworks show.

This isn’t a failure. It’s a biological shift and it deserves support, not shame.

The truth? You’re not broken. You’re evolving.

Enter the Vibrator: Not Just a Sex Toy, But a Healing Tool

Vibrators aren’t just for fun—they can be instruments of exploration, therapy, and empowerment. Women in perimenopause or menopause can:

• Help reconnect you to parts of your body that feel foreign or numb

• Encourage blood flow and sensitivity

• Work with pelvic floor therapy or pudendal nerve awareness

• Provide consistent, pressure-free pleasure

• Help you feel again—on your own terms

From the gentle pulse of a rose-shaped external vibe to the deep rumbles of a wand, there’s no one-size-fits-all. Try different types. Explore textures, speeds, and sensations without pressure or performance.

Sensuality Isn't a Performance—It’s a Birthright

Being sexy at 40+ isn’t about lingerie photoshoots (though go for it if that’s your thing!). It’s about moments that make you feel alive in your body:

• Slow dancing alone in your kitchen

• Wearing perfume just for you

• Taking time to moisturize your thighs and whisper “thank you”

• Breathing into your hips and letting go of expectations

Sensuality is presence. And it’s something we can cultivate even when libido is low or energy is scattered. In fact, it’s often in these quieter seasons that we can finally explore it on a deeper, more sacred level.

Let Pleasure Be Your North Star

Whether you’re newly single, happily partnered, or somewhere in between, your pleasure matters. You deserve to feel good, not just for someone else, but for you.

So here’s your permission slip to…

• Experiment

• Be curious

• Say yes (or no) without guilt

• Play with vibrators

• Honor your body exactly as she is today

You’re not past your prime. You’re just getting started. 💋

Body Signals: Learning to Listen to Your Intuition During Hormonal Shifts

As women, we’re taught to keep going through pain, fatigue, anxiety, and even burnout. But during perimenopause and menopause, that “power through” mindset starts to fall apart. Not because we’re weak, but because our bodies are asking us to listen.

This season of change is more than hot flashes and mood swings—it’s a call to tune in.

🔄 Hormones Are Messengers—Are You Listening?

Hormones shift everything. From the way we sleep to how we eat, focus, love, and move, our bodies are in constant conversation with you. The problem? Most of us were never taught how to listen.

When estrogen dips or progesterone vanishes, we might feel:

• A deep, hard-to-explain tiredness

• A need for solitude or silence

• A craving for gentler routines

• Random aches that signal “slow down”

• Sensitivities to foods, sounds, or even people

These aren’t inconveniences. They’re signals. They’re your intuition, waking up.

🧘‍♀️ Menopause = An Invitation to Reconnect

The hormonal shifts of midlife often bring discomfort, yes. But they also peel away the noise. Suddenly, you know when something feels off. You feel more deeply when something is draining you. That’s not brokenness—it’s clarity.

Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” try asking:

• What is my body trying to tell me today?

• Where am I pushing myself when I need to pause?

• Is this fatigue physical… or emotional?

• What would nourish me—not just fuel me—right now?

🌿 Ways to Tap Into Your Body’s Wisdom

Here are a few gentle tools that can help you reconnect with your body’s signals during menopause:

1. Morning Body Scans

Before you get out of bed, scan from head to toe. Is there tension? Fatigue? Calm? What needs attention?

2. Mood Journaling

Note how you feel physically and emotionally each day. Patterns often emerge with your cycle, even during perimenopause.

3. Grounding Rituals

Take 5 minutes daily with your hand on your heart or belly. Deep breathing while gently asking, “What do you need from me today?”

4. Movement as Feedback

Gentle stretching, yoga, or walking can reveal areas of resistance or relief. Movement doesn’t have to be performance—it can be communication.

💗 You Know More Than You Think

When hormone levels fluctuate, it’s easy to feel unsure of yourself. But this is also the perfect time to trust your inner knowing. That gut feeling when something’s not right. That whisper when you need rest. That moment of joy when you say “no” and protect your peace.

You don’t have to become a whole new person. You’re just peeling back the layers, clearing out the noise, and getting closer to who you really are.

Menopause isn’t the end of intuition. It’s the beginning of a deeper, wiser voice inside you, one that’s been waiting to be heard.

Menopause and Your Gut: How Digestive Health Impacts Your Hormones and Vice Versa

When you think about menopause symptoms, you probably picture hot flashes, mood swings, or sleep troubles. But there’s a hidden player you might not have considered yet: your gut health.

The gut and hormones share an intimate connection, and disruptions in your digestive system can actually worsen menopausal symptoms—and vice versa.

The Gut-Hormone Connection

Your gut is home to trillions of bacteria, collectively called the microbiome. These tiny organisms don’t just help digest food; they also influence hormone balance, immune function, and even brain health.

One key role the gut plays is in estrogen metabolism. Certain gut bacteria produce enzymes that help recycle estrogen in your body, keeping hormone levels balanced.

When your gut bacteria are out of sync (a state called dysbiosis), estrogen recycling can be impaired. This can lead to more intense menopausal symptoms like:

• Hot flashes

• Vaginal dryness

• Mood swings

• Weight gain

Why Menopause Can Upset Your Gut

As estrogen levels drop during menopause, the lining of your gut can become more permeable, a condition often called "leaky gut." This allows toxins and undigested particles to enter your bloodstream, causing inflammation.

Inflammation is a sneaky culprit that can worsen symptoms such as joint pain, brain fog, and fatigue.

Plus, menopause often coincides with lifestyle changes—diet shifts, reduced physical activity, or stress that can further disrupt your gut health.

Signs Your Gut May Be Affecting Your Menopause Journey

• Frequent bloating or gas

• Irregular bowel movements (constipation or diarrhea)

• Food sensitivities or intolerances

• Increased cravings, especially for sugar

• Brain fog or low energy that feels stubborn

Supporting Your Gut During Menopause

1. Eat More Fiber: Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes feed the good bacteria in your gut.

2. Add Fermented Foods: Yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi introduce beneficial probiotics.

3. Stay Hydrated: Water helps keep digestion smooth and regular.

4. Manage Stress: Chronic stress disrupts your gut flora. Try meditation, yoga, or deep breathing.

5. Consider Probiotics: A quality probiotic supplement can help restore balance, but talk to your healthcare provider first.

6. Limit Processed Foods & Sugar: These feed harmful bacteria and promote inflammation.

The Takeaway

Menopause is more than a hormonal shift; it’s a whole-body experience. Taking care of your gut health can not only ease digestive issues but also help balance your hormones and improve your overall well-being.

Listening to your gut is listening to your body’s wisdom. It’s a powerful ally on your menopause journey.

When Pleasure Becomes Work: My Journey With Pudendal Nerve Sensitivity and Finding What Works

Let’s be real—orgasms aren’t always as simple as they used to be. For many women going through perimenopause or menopause, it’s not just a dip in libido. It’s a complete shift in how the body responds to touch, arousal, and climax.

And for some of us, like me, it becomes a journey of trial and error, frustration, and rediscovery.

The Unexpected Loss of Sensation

One day, I realized that something had changed; I couldn’t feel the same level of sensation in my clitoris. I wasn’t completely numb, but everything felt muted. What once took minutes now took 30, sometimes longer, and only on “good days.” Other times, I would try and try, only to be left tired and emotionally drained from the effort.

The hardest part? I still had desire, but my body didn’t seem to cooperate.

Connecting the Dots: The Pudendal Nerve

After some deep diving (and connecting with other women), I came across information about the pudendal nerve the main nerve responsible for clitoral and pelvic sensation. It can become irritated, compressed, or desensitized due to things like:

• Childbirth trauma (I’ve had nine children!)

• Long periods of sitting

• Hormonal changes and nerve-nourishing vitamin deficiencies

• Pelvic floor tension or back issues

Suddenly, it all started to make sense.

Trying Vibrators: The Frustration and the Fix

Of course, I turned to tools that might help reawaken sensation. I tested multiple vibrators, some too weak, some too strong, and others just...wrong.

But the one that made a noticeable difference?
💗 The Rose Clitoral Vibrator.

It had just the right mix of suction and vibration, and on certain days, especially around ovulation, I could actually reach orgasm again. It still wasn’t easy or quick, but it felt like progress.

Yet, I still had days when even the Rose didn’t do the trick. There was a mental and emotional toll to trying and failing, again and again.

Giving the Wand a Chance

Eventually, I decided to try something new, again, the classic Wand vibrator. Known for its powerful, broad stimulation, I hoped it might help bypass some of the nerve’s dulled responsiveness.

I’m still exploring it, but so far, it’s offering a deeper, more resonant type of stimulation and some much-needed variety. And let’s be honest: when you’ve been dealing with clitoral numbness or nerve delay, sometimes you need that stronger kickstart.

The Truth About Relearning Pleasure

What I’ve learned most is this: my pleasure journey doesn’t look like it used to, and that’s okay.

Some days are easier. Some are frustrating. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I laugh because yes, it still takes me 30+ minutes to orgasm. But I refuse to give up on this part of myself.

My Tips If You’re Struggling Too:

🔹 Be patient with yourself. This is not about performance—this is about reconnecting with your body in a new way.
🔹 Explore a variety of tools. Don’t be afraid to try different vibrators (including suction, wands, or combo types).
🔹 Check your nerve health. B12, iron, and magnesium play a huge role. Pelvic physical therapy may help, too.
🔹 Track your cycle. I notice better sensations around ovulation—your body might have a rhythm, too.
🔹 Let go of expectations. Some orgasms might take time—or not happen at all—and that’s okay. You’re still worthy of touch, pleasure, and love.

Final Thoughts

Clitoral numbness and pudendal nerve issues are more common than we think, but are barely talked about. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And your pleasure still matters even if it takes a little more patience, creativity, and compassion.

Let’s keep talking about this. Loudly. Openly. Without shame.

Because every woman deserves to feel connected to her body, no matter what stage of life she’s in.

Menopause in the Workplace: Navigating Tough Days When You Just Don’t Want to Show Up

If you’re reading this, you probably already know what it feels like: those days when your body and brain are completely out of sync, and all you want to do is hide under a blanket—but instead, you have to show up at work.

I get it. I’ve been there myself. Some days, the fatigue is crushing, the brain fog is thick, and the anxiety or mood swings feel like they’re running the show. Yet, the clock ticks, emails pile up, meetings happen, and you’re expected to be “on.”

Why Menopause Makes Work Harder

Menopause isn’t just a physical journey—it’s an emotional and mental marathon. The shifting hormones impact:

• Energy levels—that endless exhaustion

• Focus and memory—brain fog that slows you down

• Mood and anxiety—feeling overwhelmed or irritable

• Physical symptoms—hot flashes, night sweats, and aches that distract you

On tough days, these symptoms don’t just knock at the door—they kick it wide open.

My Personal Experience: Showing Up When I Wanted to Shut Down

There were mornings I woke up already drained. I’d drag myself out of bed, hoping the caffeine and a quick shower would help. But once I hit my desk, my body rebelled. I felt invisible fatigue that no one could see, and I worried I’d be judged as lazy or unprofessional.

It took me a long time to realize I wasn’t failing—I was navigating a powerful hormonal storm.

Tips That Helped Me Keep Going (and Thrive)

If you’re struggling at work during menopause, here are some strategies that made a difference for me:

• Communicate (When You Can): If you feel safe doing so, letting your manager or HR know about menopause-related challenges can open doors to accommodations.

• Pace Yourself: Break your work into smaller tasks and allow short breaks to reset your focus.

• Manage Your Environment: Dress in breathable layers for hot flashes and keep a water bottle nearby.

• Prioritize Sleep: It’s easier said than done, but better rest fuels better work days.

• Use Technology: Tools like calendar reminders or focus apps can help keep you on track despite brain fog.

• Build Your Support System: Connect with colleagues or groups who understand your journey.

Creating Menopause-Friendly Workplaces

This isn’t just about surviving—it’s about workplaces recognizing the reality of menopause. Flexible hours, quiet spaces, menopause education, and wellness programs can transform the work experience for women in midlife.

If you’re an employer or leader reading this, please remember: supporting menopause at work isn’t a “nice to have” — it’s essential for employee wellbeing and retention.

You’re Not Alone in This

If you’re having a rough day, remind yourself: you’re strong for showing up at all. Menopause is a tough chapter, but it doesn’t define your worth or your work.

And for those days when you can’t do it all? That’s okay, too.

How Wearable Tech Can Help You Track and Manage Menopause Symptoms

Menopause can feel like your body is suddenly a mystery you don’t recognize. Hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, and brain fog can come out of nowhere, and sometimes it’s hard to know what’s triggering what.

That’s where wearable technology steps in to save the day.

Whether you’re a tech newbie or a digital enthusiast, there’s a growing world of smartwatches, apps, and trackers designed to help women like us understand and manage menopause symptoms with real data, right from your wrist or phone.

Why Tracking Symptoms Matters

When symptoms hit unpredictably, it’s frustrating—and it makes it tough to communicate your needs to your doctor or even yourself.

By tracking your symptoms, sleep patterns, heart rate, and even temperature changes, you can:

• Spot patterns in hot flashes and mood swings

• Pinpoint which lifestyle changes help or hurt

• Understand how stress or diet affects your symptoms

• Share accurate info with your healthcare provider for better care

Top Wearables and Apps for Menopause

1. Smartwatches with Temperature Sensors

Some smartwatches now track skin temperature changes, which can signal the start of a hot flash. Brands like Fitbit, Apple Watch, and Garmin are adding more health features that are great for menopause monitoring.

2. Menopause-Specific Tracking Apps

Apps like Menopause View, Balance, and Caria let you log symptoms, mood, medication, and cycle changes in one place. Many also offer educational content and community support.

3. Sleep Trackers

Good sleep is critical during menopause. Devices like Oura Ring or WHOOP provide deep insights into sleep stages, heart rate variability (HRV), and recovery, helping you identify what’s disrupting your rest.

How to Make the Most of Your Menopause Tech

• Be consistent: Track daily to spot real trends, not just one-offs

• Combine data with journaling: Write down diet, exercise, stress, and other lifestyle factors

• Use data for conversations: Bring your reports to your doctor for more personalized care

• Set realistic goals: Use tech to empower—not stress—you

The Future of Menopause Tech

We’re just at the beginning of this revolution. Researchers are working on wearables that can even measure hormone levels non-invasively or predict symptoms before they start.

Imagine a future where your watch can alert you to an oncoming hot flash—or help you adjust your day to ease symptoms before they spike.

Final Thoughts

Menopause doesn’t have to be a guessing game. Technology gives us tools to listen to our bodies more closely, take control, and advocate for ourselves like never before.

If you haven’t tried menopause tech yet, this might be the perfect time to start. Your body—and your peace of mind—will thank you.

What Your Clitoris Is Telling You: Numbness, Tingling & Hormones

By Laura Lynn Aviles, Founder of Perimenopause Chat Lounge

Let’s talk about something most women have been taught to ignore: changes in clitoral sensation.

If you've ever thought, “Why does it feel like something’s missing down there?” or “Why am I getting weird tingling or even burning sensations?”—you’re not imagining it. And you’re definitely not alone.

I started noticing it myself not too long ago—a strange lack of sensation, like something had been “turned off.” Then, out of nowhere, sensation returned during my cycle—suddenly stronger, almost like the nerves had flickered back to life. These shifts were confusing, frustrating, and frankly, a little scary. But they became the spark that led me to start asking real questions and connecting with other women who felt the same.

Hormones, Nerves & Your Clitoris: A Missing Piece of the Menopause Puzzle

As we move through perimenopause and beyond, hormonal shifts—especially estrogen and testosterone—can affect nerve function, blood flow, and tissue sensitivity, particularly in intimate areas like the clitoris.

When I began diving into research, I discovered that many women in perimenopause experience numbness, tingling, or even burning sensations around the clitoral or vulvar area. But no one talks about it. It's often brushed off as aging or “just stress.” But in reality, it can be a direct signal from your nervous system and hormones that something’s shifting.

Is It Hormonal? Is It Neurological? It’s Often Both.

Here’s what I—and many others—have experienced:

• Numb or dulled clitoral sensation

• Sudden “zapping” or tingling feelings

• Random return of sensitivity around ovulation or mid-cycle

• Difficulty achieving orgasm, or orgasms that feel weaker or inconsistent

These symptoms often come and go in rhythm with your cycle, just like mine did. I noticed that sensation would completely fade for weeks, then return during ovulation, only to disappear again. It wasn’t random. It was hormonal.

Let’s Talk About the Pudendal Nerve

The clitoris is supplied by the pudendal nerve, which runs from the sacrum (lower spine) through the pelvic floor. If you’ve had children (I’ve had nine!), or spent years sitting at a desk, or ever had back or tailbone issues, you may be dealing with nerve compression, too.

In fact, the more I listened to my body, the more I realized how important posture, pelvic floor tension, and nerve health were in this picture. Our clitoris isn’t just a surface organ—it’s deeply connected to our nervous system and entire pelvic structure.

Don’t Forget Testosterone

Another thing I personally learned the hard way: testosterone matters more than we’re told. I began using a low-dose testosterone cream (under medical supervision) directly on the clitoris. It was subtle, but I began to notice small shifts—like more sensation, occasional return of desire, and even more energy.

Most women don’t even know they can test their testosterone, or that low levels might be part of why they feel “shut down” sexually.

How I’m Supporting My Clitoral Nerve Health Now

Here’s what’s been working for me (and what I recommend looking into):

💡 Hormone testing — Track your estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone
💡 Pelvic nerve awareness — I do stretches, avoid long hours sitting, and use a posture-correcting cushion
💡 Nutrient support — I’ve focused on increasing B12, iron, and magnesium—all critical for nerve health
💡 Clitoral stimulation therapy — Using safe, gentle vibration to help “reawaken” nerves and blood flow
💡 Talking about it openly — Creating this community is part of my own healing

You’re Not Broken—You’re Changing

This journey isn’t about shame—it’s about understanding. If you’re noticing changes in sensation or sexual response, don’t ignore it. These symptoms are real, valid, and deserve compassionate support.

I created Perimenopause Chat Lounge so we could finally talk about these things—without embarrassment, without being dismissed, and with real strategies for healing.

Let’s normalize this conversation and remind ourselves:
🩷 You are not alone. You are not broken. Your body is talking—let’s listen together.

Menopause and Your Mood: 7 Signs Your Hormones Might Be Affecting Your Mental Health

If you’ve found yourself snapping at your loved ones, crying over commercials, or feeling anxious for no clear reason, you’re not alone. One of the most overlooked parts of the menopause journey is the powerful connection between hormones and mental health.

As your levels of estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone begin to fluctuate, your neurotransmitters—like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA—also shift, often leading to unexpected emotional changes.

So, how do you know if it’s “just life” or your hormones speaking louder than usual?

Here are 7 signs your mood changes may be hormonally driven:

1. You’re More Anxious Than Usual—Even Without Triggers

If you're suddenly overwhelmed by everyday tasks, dealing with racing thoughts, or waking up with a sense of dread, your estrogen levels may be dropping. Estrogen helps regulate serotonin and dopamine—key players in mood balance.

2. You Cry More Easily—or Feel Numb

Emotional sensitivity is common, but so is emotional flatness. These shifts may be due to changes in progesterone, which has a natural calming, GABA-boosting effect on the brain.

3. You Can’t Sleep, and It’s Making You Moody

Hormonal insomnia is real—and it’s more than annoying. A lack of deep sleep increases irritability, sadness, and even depression, often leading to a vicious cycle that’s hard to break.

4. Your Patience Is Paper-Thin

Do you find yourself irritated by sounds, people, or situations that never used to bother you? Hormonal swings—especially in perimenopause—can reduce your threshold for frustration.

5. You Feel Depressed, but It Comes and Goes

Unlike clinical depression, hormone-related low mood tends to be cyclical or episodic—you may feel down for a few days, then bounce back, only to repeat the cycle. This is especially common around ovulation or your period.

6. You Feel a Loss of Confidence or Motivation

If you suddenly feel like you’re not good enough, losing interest in things you once loved, it may not be "in your head." Low testosterone—yes, women have it too—can contribute to these symptoms during midlife.

7. You’re Starting to Question Your Sanity

Mood swings that come out of nowhere, forgetfulness, brain fog, and panic can feel scary. But you're not broken. You're going through a massive neurochemical shift, and it's time we talk about it more.

So, What Can You Do?

You’re not at the mercy of your hormones. Here are a few options to consider:

• Talk to a menopause-literate provider about hormone therapy or alternatives

• Track your mood with your cycle to identify patterns

• Support your brain with B-vitamins, magnesium, and omega-3s

• Prioritize sleep (even if it means midday naps)

• Don’t isolate—join supportive communities (like Perimenopause Chat Lounge!)

Final Thought:

Your emotional health matters. If you feel like you’re not yourself anymore, you deserve answers, not dismissal. Perimenopause and menopause aren’t just physical—they’re emotional, mental, and deeply personal. And you're not going through it alone.

🧬 Why I Finally Asked for Hormone Testing—And What I Learned

My real experience with confusing symptoms, bouncing progesterone, and finding clarity with estrogen patches

There was a time I honestly thought I was just losing it.
One minute, I was crying over laundry; the next, I was snapping at everyone. Then, suddenly, I was flat, tired, and not feeling much of anything.

I thought: Is this stress? Burnout? Am I just getting older?

But deep down, I knew something was happening beneath the surface—something hormonal.

That’s when I decided to stop guessing… and start testing.

😵‍♀️ The Symptoms That Pushed Me to Ask

What made me speak up?
It wasn’t just the mood swings. It was the exhaustion. The crashing energy. The lack of motivation.
My libido was gone. My brain felt foggy. My spark felt dimmed.

And worst of all?
I didn’t feel like myself anymore.

My period was still showing up—sort of. But everything about my body felt off. I just knew I needed more than another “you’re fine” from a provider.

🩺 I Asked for Hormone Testing (Even Though I Was Nervous)

I went in and asked for a full workup:
Estradiol, progesterone, testosterone, SHBG, B12, ferritin, thyroid. I wanted the full picture.

Before starting estrogen patches, my estradiol was 19—barely hanging on. I felt every bit of that number.
Now that I’ve been on patches consistently, my levels are up to 212, and I feel the difference.

But progesterone? That’s been a whole different story.

🔁 The Progesterone Rollercoaster

I’ve bounced around with progesterone—some cycles I try it, some I stop.
Some nights it helps me sleep. Other times it makes me feel off or even more anxious.

It’s been trial and error. It’s not something I’m on consistently because it hasn’t always worked for me.

My latest lab had progesterone at 1.0, which tells me my body’s not making much on its own—but it’s also taught me to listen closely to how I feel, not just what the numbers say.

💡 What Estrogen Has Done for Me

Estrogen patches have been my biggest win. Once I started them, everything began to shift:

• My mood became more stable

• My energy picked up

• My brain fog eased

• I started to feel hopeful again

It didn’t fix everything overnight, but it gave me a sense of balance—and a place to rebuild from.

💬 What I’ve Learned

• You can’t rely on standard lab ranges alone—trust how you feel

• Your hormone needs change, sometimes month to month

• You’re allowed to adjust, explore, and advocate for yourself

• Estrogen isn’t the enemy—it can be the missing support your body needs

And most importantly:
You’re not going crazy. You’re going through a major transition.

🔄 My Hormone Rollercoaster: Periods, Patches & Progesterone—A Real-Life Midlife Tale

Because if I don’t laugh about it, I might cry (again)

Let me tell you, I used to have my period under control. After nine kids, I thought I’d seen it all—until perimenopause showed up like a plot twist nobody warned me about. My cycle? Chaos. My hormones? A full-blown circus.

Here’s what it’s really been like—and I’m sharing it so you know: you’re not the only one going through this wild ride.

🎪 Act 1: My Period, the Shape-Shifter

Some months, I’d go 60 days with nothing, thinking, Maybe this is it… maybe menopause is coming! But just when I got hopeful, bam—a period so heavy I needed to cancel everything, wear black, and line my car seat just in case.

Other times it would show up out of nowhere, like:

• Middle of the night: surprise flood

• After sex: the party crasher

• Or worse, just spotting for days and never knowing when it was going to end

I’ve learned to laugh, cry, and always carry a backup outfit.

🎭 Act 2: The Estrogen Patch Diaries

When I started using the estrogen patch, I actually felt like myself again.
✔️ My brain fog cleared
✔️ I had energy
✔️ My libido woke up from the dead

But the rollercoaster didn’t stop there. Some weeks, I was high-functioning and joyful. Other weeks, I’d rip that estrogen patch off and cry over nothing, confused.

Sometimes I’d forget to put it on and feel the shift instantly. Other times, I’d switch the patch and get a random headache or heart flutter.

Is it working? Or is it messing with me? I’ve asked myself this a hundred times.

🎢 Act 3: Progesterone—Blessing or Betrayal?

Oh, progesterone. I wanted so badly for it to be my calming best friend. And some nights, it was—I’d drift off peacefully and sleep like I hadn't in years.

But other nights?
I’d feel loopy.
Or dizzy.
Or wide awake at 2 a.m., wondering why I took it at all.

Some days it made me feel relaxed and balanced. Other days, I wondered if I was drugged or just exhausted from motherhood, hormones, and life.

🧭 What I’ve Learned Along the Way

• Hormones change fast in perimenopause—sometimes day to day

• What worked for me last month might not work this month

• I’ve had to listen to my body in a deeper way than ever before

• Most importantly, I’ve had to advocate for myself in every doctor’s office and every pharmacy line

This journey has taught me to trust my own instincts and find strength in sharing what I’ve lived through.

💬 Final Thought

If you’re feeling like a stranger in your own body—I’ve been there.

If your period is a mystery, your patch is a puzzle, and progesterone has you asking “what now?”—I’ve asked those same questions.

You're not crazy. You're not broken. You’re in transition. And that deserves care, support, and real conversation.

I’m walking through it right alongside you—one day, one patch, and one weird period at a time.

🩸 Why Your Period Is Suddenly a Total Mystery

From flooding to vanishing acts—perimenopause rewrites the rules

You used to know exactly when your period would show up. Like clockwork—give or take a day or two. But now? It’s a complete wild card. Some months it’s light, other months it’s a flood. Then it disappears for weeks… only to crash in like a tsunami.

If this sounds familiar, you’re likely in perimenopause—the hormonal transition that can turn your once-predictable cycle into a total mystery.

Let’s break down what’s going on and what you can do about it.

🔄 What’s Happening to Your Hormones?

Perimenopause usually begins in your 40s (sometimes earlier) and can last several years before menopause hits. During this time, your ovaries start to wind down, but they don’t do it gracefully. Instead, they fluctuate—wildly.

Here’s what that means:

• Estrogen can spike and crash unpredictably, leading to heavy or skipped periods

• Progesterone slowly declines, making periods longer, heavier, or more clot-filled

• Anovulatory cycles (where you don’t ovulate) become more common, disrupting the regular rhythm

Your body’s hormone orchestra is no longer in sync, and it shows up in your cycle first.

🚨 Period Changes to Expect

You might notice:

• 🩸 Shorter or longer cycles (e.g., every 21 days, then 45 days)

• 🌊 Heavier bleeding, clotting, or flooding

• ❌ Skipped or “ghost” periods (especially in later perimenopause)

• 🧨 Mid-cycle spotting or cramping

• 🔥 Worsening PMS or mood swings

It’s not all in your head, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means your body is transitioning.

🩺 When to Talk to Your Doctor

Irregular periods are normal during perimenopause, but some symptoms deserve attention:

• Bleeding that soaks through a pad in under an hour

• Bleeding that lasts more than 10 days

• Bleeding after sex or between periods

• Sudden pelvic pain or pressure

Always check in if your intuition says, “This isn’t right.”

✅ What You Can Do

1. Track your cycle—even if it’s all over the place.
   Apps like Clue or MyFlo can help you spot patterns over time.

2. Balance your hormones with support.
   Diet, stress management, and sometimes hormone therapy can help reduce symptoms.

3. Stock up on period care for anything.
   Keep both light liners and super tampons on hand—you never know what you’ll get.

4. Nourish your body with iron-rich foods.
   Heavy bleeding can deplete your iron levels and leave you exhausted.

💬 Final Thought

You’re not broken. You’re not alone. You’re not “losing it.”
Your cycle is simply reflecting the deeper hormonal shifts happening inside your body. It may be confusing now—but it’s temporary. And knowledge is your power.

You’ve charted this cycle before. Now, you’re just learning a new map.

🦴 Estrogen and Your Bones: The Quiet Threat of Midlife Bone Loss

What every woman needs to know before it’s too late

You may not feel it happening, but once you hit your 40s, something silent and serious begins: bone loss.

While most of the attention in perimenopause goes to hot flashes, mood swings, and sleep struggles, there’s a quieter—but just as critical—change taking place beneath the surface. It’s the decline of estrogen, and its effect on your bones can be long-lasting if not addressed early.

🧬 Why Estrogen Matters for Your Bones

Estrogen isn’t just a reproductive hormone. It also plays a key role in maintaining bone density. It helps:

• Regulate the balance between bone breakdown and rebuilding

• Keep calcium in your bones

• Maintain strong, flexible bone tissue

As estrogen levels begin to decline in perimenopause, your body starts losing bone faster than it can rebuild. In fact, women can lose up to 20% of their bone mass in the 5–7 years following menopause.

🛑 The Silent Danger: Osteopenia and Osteoporosis

Bone loss doesn't cause pain until it's advanced. That’s why it's often called a silent disease.

Without enough estrogen, you're at risk of:

• Osteopenia: early bone thinning

• Osteoporosis: porous, fragile bones prone to fractures

• Unexpected breaks from minor falls or simple movements

For many women, the first sign is a broken wrist, hip, or spine fracture—but by then, the damage is done.

✅ What You Can Do Now to Protect Your Bones

1. Get screened early.
   Ask your provider about a DEXA scan to measure bone density, especially if you have risk factors like early menopause, a family history of osteoporosis, or are very thin.

2. Consider HRT (hormone replacement therapy).
   Estrogen therapy has been shown to preserve bone mass and prevent fractures in midlife women. Talk to your provider to see if it’s right for you.

3. Boost your calcium + vitamin D intake.
   Aim for calcium-rich foods (like leafy greens, dairy, or fortified plant milks) and ensure you're getting enough vitamin D for proper absorption.

4. Incorporate strength training.
   Weight-bearing exercise stimulates bone growth. Think resistance bands, light weights, or even bodyweight exercises like squats and lunges.

5. Limit bone-depleting habits.
   Smoking, excessive alcohol, and high-sugar diets all harm your bone health.

💬 Final Thought

You can’t see your bones thinning—but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Perimenopause is the perfect time to start protecting your skeletal strength. Because your bones are not just the framework of your body—they’re the foundation of your independence, mobility, and long-term vitality.

Don’t wait until it’s a crisis. Build your bone strength now, and thank yourself later.

🩺 How to Advocate for Yourself at the Doctor’s Office During Perimenopause

Because you deserve answers, not dismissal.

If you’ve ever walked into a doctor’s office feeling anxious, confused, and desperate for answers—only to walk out with a shrug, a prescription for antidepressants, or the dreaded phrase “you’re just getting older”… you are not alone.

Too many women in perimenopause are being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or overlooked, simply because their symptoms are misunderstood or minimized. But you have more power than you think. It starts with learning how to advocate for yourself—clearly, confidently, and without apology.

🧠 Step 1: Know the Basics Before You Go

You don’t need to be an expert, but it helps to:

• Track your symptoms (mood, cycle, sleep, hot flashes, etc.)

• Know what’s considered normal vs. what deserves deeper evaluation

• Understand the roles of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, and how their decline affects you

A brief symptom journal can make a huge difference when discussing patterns.

📋 Step 2: Come Prepared with Specific Questions

Doctors are often rushed—having your thoughts organized helps. Try questions like:

• “Can you check my hormone levels, including estradiol, progesterone, and testosterone?”

• “Is my fatigue from low iron, thyroid issues, or hormone imbalance?”

• “Could this be perimenopause, and if so, what are my options?”

• “Can I see a specialist in women’s hormone health if you’re unsure?”

Asking direct, educated questions puts you in the driver’s seat.

🚩 Step 3: Watch for Red Flags

It’s time to find a new provider if you hear things like:

• “You’re too young for perimenopause.”

• “Let’s just put you on the Pill or an antidepressant and see.”

• “Your labs are normal—there’s nothing wrong.”

Normal ranges don’t always reflect optimal hormone levels for you. If your symptoms are real, they deserve real answers.

💬 Step 4: Use Your Voice Without Apologizing

Advocating doesn’t mean being aggressive—it means being clear:

“I don’t feel like myself, and I’d like to understand why.”
“I’m not comfortable with that approach—are there other options?”
“Can you refer me to someone who specializes in midlife hormone health?”

You are not being difficult. You’re being informed.

🔄 Step 5: Don’t Be Afraid to Get a Second Opinion

Your health is worth the extra appointment, the different perspective, and yes—even the inconvenience. Many women find success with OB/GYNs who specialize in menopause, integrative medicine providers, or certified hormone therapy practitioners.

💬 Final Thought

You are the expert on how you feel. No one knows your body like you do. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to take you seriously, but until the system catches up, you can advocate for yourself and demand better care.

Because you’re not “just hormonal.” You’re powerful, perceptive, and worthy of being heard.

💦 Leaking When You Laugh? Why Pelvic Floor Changes Hit Hard in Perimenopause

What no one tells you about midlife bladder surprises

You sneeze... and leak. You laugh... and leak. You do a jumping jack? Yep—more leaking.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Bladder leaks during perimenopause are way more common than anyone likes to admit, and they have everything to do with what’s happening inside your body—not your self-control.

Let’s talk about why this happens and what you can do to take back control.

🧬 The Pelvic Floor–Hormone Connection

Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that support your bladder, uterus, and rectum. These muscles are directly affected by estrogen, which helps keep tissues elastic, firm, and responsive.

But during perimenopause:

• Estrogen declines, making tissues thinner and less resilient

• Muscles weaken, especially after childbirth, aging, or inactivity

• Collagen loss reduces the strength and tone of connective tissue

• You may also develop urgency or stress incontinence (leaking with pressure or sudden urges)

It’s not a willpower issue—it’s a hormone-meets-muscle issue.

🚨 Why It Hits Hard Now

You may have held it together (literally) for years—even after childbirth—but hormonal shifts in your 40s and 50s often tip the scale.

You might also notice:

• Increased nighttime urination

• Leaks with coughing, sneezing, or laughing

• A “heavy” feeling in the pelvic area

• More frequent UTIs or bladder sensitivity

✅ What You Can Do

1. Start with awareness.
Notice when leaks happen and what triggers them (caffeine, exercise, etc.).

2. Practice pelvic floor exercises (Kegels).
But make sure you're doing them correctly—many women unknowingly bear down instead of lifting.

3. Consider pelvic floor physical therapy.
It’s not just for postpartum recovery—PTs can help retrain muscles and relieve tension or weakness.

4. Use support tools.
Pessaries, absorbent underwear, or bladder-friendly pads are nothing to be ashamed of. They’re tools—not failures.

5. Support your hormones.
Localized vaginal estrogen can strengthen pelvic tissues without systemic effects. Talk to your provider.

💬 Final Thought

Leaks don’t mean you’re broken. They’re a signal—your body’s way of asking for attention and support. With the right care and knowledge, you can strengthen your pelvic floor and laugh freely again, without worry.